Tuesday, March 26, 2013

I Love You Enough To Let You Hate Me

"I hate you".

The words every parent will hear at one point or another. There's nothing you can do about it. It will happen. Trust me. As sure as the sun comes up in the morning and goes down at night.

Your kid says “I hate you.’’ What now? Do you burst into tears or scream in anger? I highly recommend that as much as you want to do either of these, don’t! Not your best options.

Try this little puppy on for size!

Say, “I love you enough to let you hate me”. And then....



-go to your room


-wash your face

-compose yourself

-go back out

-talk to your kid

When you and your child have both had a chance to cool down, you’re ready to have a chat about what happened???. Say, “I understand you’re upset with me. It really made me sad when you said that you hate me. What were you feeling when you said that?”.

Start a dialogue about feelings and mutual respect: It’s not okay to tell someone you hate them, especially when you love them; It is okay-- advisable, even-- to share your feelings with someone you trust.

Teach your child that, rather than exploding and using hurtful words, she should express her emotions in a healthy way. Give her the tools to do so: a journal in which to write or draw her feelings, a vocabulary of emotions and a safe place to go when she’s feeling upset.

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